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Music again... my music

Before I forget it... I have been thinking about this for a long while now...

My taste of music changed... or at least the feelings I have when listening to music. A friend of mine tried to convince me that Manowar is great... and I agree on the base of the music... But I think I will never listen to their songs alone, by myself... too much heroic-blood-kill-battle-fury-splatter-lyrics....
I am too much a pacifist to listen to this kind of music today.... maybe I would have a few years ago... but not anymore... the sound is great, though, no doubt about that...

It is the same wiht many songs I used to listen to, I used to love and really feel involved and understood when listening to it....all those punk-rock stuff, simple plan and so on.... Songs like: I am my own worst enemy, everyone in the world hates me, it is the world that is bad to me, no one understands me....

Not anymore... I still like the songs, and respect to the artists, but somehow... I have risen above it. Or not above, I just stood up, grew - up, perhaps? - and now I am standing above it. It doesn't touch me anymore, I don't feel a connection to it. I needn't cry and wail around because my life is all sooo bad.... my life is fine, and if I have a problem, I will solve it, instead of starting to hate myself again...I have become more mature, I think, those songs have not...

But there are other songs as well, by great artists, I don't listen to anymore.... songs about breaking up, and the time after the breaking of a relationship, about the pain those musicians put in words, in a way that made me think that they knew exactly how I felt, that they put my heart's feelings into words, about the rolercoaster and the thoughs of antipathy and being over it... I still love the songs, the lyrics are great and really wghat one feels in a way, but I am no longer commited to them... Those feelings are no longer mine. I have stopped suffering or disliking or thinking of revenge when listening to them. They are songs no, nothing more. Not the voice of my soul anymore - and that'S great!

I dont knoew whether to be sad because I lost a part of my emotional puzzle, but I think I should be glad. I think that I am going on, that I am ready to go on, for new chapters...
and, looking back now, I can see the girl I used to be, and I see that, I suddenly realize that I have left her behind... but I will alway carry a part of her with me, in my heart. I am still the same, yet I am different...

But I will never forget who I was, what I was, what I felt that days... It will help me see what I am today, and go on... with new music, and still the old songs accompanying me... though my feelings for them will be different - changing... but I guess that's all life is about: an ever-changing, never-ending flow of time...

I am just glad I have foud my music again, rediscovered my music... and redefined it, in a way....
28.5.07 12:19

bisher 2 Kommentar(e)     TrackBack-URL

Skythen (28.5.07 13:08)
Wir haben irgendwie recht ähnliche Gedankengänge in manchen Dingen, kann das sein? hehe
Aber ich weiß was du meinst; schöne Musik, schöne Texte, schöne Stimmung .... aber nicht ich.
Jetzt heißt es suchen und sich in neuen Stimmen wieder selbst entdecken

Phoenix / Website (11.7.07 11:31)
Nyu, wir sollten öfters telefonieren...

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