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Sometimes I wonder if anything makes sense at all....
There are powers in this world, water, rock, earth and wind, and fire, which are so much stronger than we can imagine. Though we think we controll them, nature shows us we are not. Now and then the powers just arise, they stand up, shake their iron fist and show us our helpnesness... and we fall into ruin, destruction, despair.

Sometimes I wonder if anything we do makes a difference at all. Is it not unbelievably arrogant to think that our actions might change anything about these powers? That for this world our small affairs count anything? Dust in the wind, we are no more. What difference ´does it make, seen from th point of four billion years, wether I achieve my aims or fail in my tasks, wether I live or die, or how? How can we think that it is of any interest to the world, to its great, unbelievable powers?
We arew nothing, and maybe we should get used to the thought that we are unimportant. There are things far beyond our understanding, may we be learned as we are now or even more. Even if those scientists measure the world in numbers and degrees and put it in formulas, what do we know of the great powers behind them? Even if we can explain love by matters of chemistry, what does that change, what does that do to the one in love? We cannot master these powers. We are not important. Actually, we are meaningless, I sometimes think.
And yet, I cannot accept it, I feel to know it, but I don't feel it, I don't feel unimportant and meaningless. Probably because if mankind accepted that there are so many thing more powerful and mor important than they are, if they saw their own vanity, they would loose the reason to live, the courage and hope to go on.

For even if to our world that is ancient and will be never endind as a planet we are meaningless, to us and our small matters we are not. I am alive, and to me and those close to me it is a difference.
And Idon't mean to say that we should be regardless being unimportant: There are powers we cannot controll or understand, but also things more important than our own small lives. And those things we should cherrish and preserve, or at least their memory. Even if everyone has to find them for him or herself. Or search in vain, alone. Or give up the search? I guess everyone has to find his or her own personal truth, meaning of life and purpose. I have found glimpses and pieces of mine. And things that are more important to me than life itself. And I am glad I have found them. No matter what others might think or say or feel about it......
10.4.07 15:09
 


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