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and talking of change again....

Again I feel Iīm changing... (By the way, am I annoying you? If so: Bad luck, I donīt care.... itīs my Blog, so I can do what I want! Haa, there you are... :-))

I mean, there are no big things about me which I can feel changning, but somehow I do change....
Itīs more my perspective that is changing, my angle to look upon things. There are many thing I see now I didnīt realize before....
For example the beauty of spring. I have always liked and enjoyed springtime, but it has never made me happier than this year. Nor has it ever made me sadder that spring didnīt come in the beginning.... it feels just like my senses have sharpened, in a way.

And there are some things I like now wich I didnīt before... songs, stories.... It seems that the more I learn about myself and the world, the more open I grow, and the deeper grows my understanding for things, emotions.... unfortunatelly, I can understand emotions in movies, books, songs.... but I am not able to fully understand fellow humans, friends, family....

But Iīm growing, Im getting there....

Maybe Iīll manage to get it fully one day...

What also strikes me is how different my mood and sensitivity can be from one day to another....
I can be so sentimental, you wonīt believe it.... I have days when certain movie-scenes bring me close to tears which I would laugh about at other days... and I donīt even want to be moved so deeply because I know itīs rubbish.... and yet I am....

But I think I have the right toi be sentimental, and sensitive, and crazy, just as I wish to... as long as I donīt harm anyone, I can be just the way I want to, or canīt I? A good thing to know.... but a difficult theme to live after...

Well, Iīll see what I can do.... one day, Iīll find my one style....
And I think Iīm trying to start to find it...

I just donīt want anyone to tell me who or how to be, I donīt want to be limited, pressed into borders by society or whoever...

And Iīm findning myself, slowly, but surely...


What a bunch of sentimental, 0-8-15 rubbish, isnīt it?
So well, who cares, I wonder...
8.5.06 16:54





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